Alone Together
I witnessed three rather extraordinary events, or should I say, modern phenomena, recently.
1. While leaving my gym, I watched two cars approach a street from the opposite directions of an alley. Both drivers were looking to turn southward onto the street. Both drivers glanced only in the northward direction. Both drivers were on their cell phones, apparently texting. Both cars proceeded to turn entirely into one another in a slow and pathetic fashion, nonetheless causing several thousand dollars in damages. What was additionally fascinating was how long it took the drivers to realize what was going on and how what could have merely ended with a bump, should the text messages not have been so utterly consuming, turned into a metal crunching debacle.
2. My wife and I popped into a local Thai restaurant for an early evening curry — kids in tow. Next to us was a young couple, 20’s, seemingly on a date. My wife and I looked at one another nostalgic of the time when a Saturday evening date was even a remote possibility. The young couple ordered, then pulled out their cell phones and began texting and cruising the internet, and didn’t actually talk to one another the entire time. The only time I saw the couple interact was when the boy showed the girl the photo of his pad thai that he’d just posted to his Facebook page. Under the photo, he wrote, “On date, eating pad thai.” It should have said, On Facebook while I should be on date and eating pad thai.
3. I was at a coffee shop between meetings and couldn’t help but let my eye and ear eavesdrop this little nugget. Two coworkers, business professionals, seated nearby paused in their work-oriented conversation for a personal moment. Coworker A seemed despondent. He was a new dad and was distraught over working such long hours and the lack of time he got to spend with his young child. Coworker B was a few years older, and seemed to have been down the kids-work-guilt conundrum road before. Coworker A clearly needed to vent and was looking off to mask the fact that his eyes were growing misty with tears. When he looked back to his colleague for a supportive glance or word, he realized that his colleague was on his phone texting and not really present at all.
According to Sherry Turkle during her TED lecture, this kind of behavior is prevalent and has a devastating impact upon our emotional well being. Technology, it seems, provides us the opportunity to stay continuously connected without fostering any physical, face-to-face connections. With texting (SMS) and email, and ubiquitous social media and virtual communities, you don’t have to deal with yourself or any one else for that matter in a true and spontaneous way, but rather the edited and image-cultivated façade you and they wish to put forth. How many times have we seen people craft an email, text and social media persona that is so different than their actual way of being that you actually prefer the online façade to the real thing? How many business meetings and business ventures have fallen apart because the preliminary social media persona that someone created is so drastically different from the flesh and blood person that you are unable to reconcile the difference, or vice versa?
Even worse, states Turkle, the virtual world we’re so often living in is making us less capable of dealing with each other in the messy and often complex ways that real, face-to-face relationships demand. I know this is a problem in the US, both in personal and professional lives. I’m wondering how much technology seems to be affecting relationships and business in other countries, particularly cultures that place a high value on personal relationships. Do texts, emails and the internet undermine the extended lunch with family and friends in Latin American countries? Are Germans and Austrians, with a keen sense of privacy, equally engaged with social media and constantly updating Facebook? And what’s it like for an expat living and working abroad? Has it become harder to make connections with co-workers and colleagues now that technology and social media occupies so much of one’s focus and time?
What say you, global business maven? Chime in.
Adam
RW3 CultureWizard



