Finding Comfort in Danish Hygge

Every few years a new trend emerges as the solution to the stress and chaos of our lives. We've been through feng shui, lives of simple abundance, and mindfulness. For the last two years we Kondoed our way into only keeping possessions that bring us joy. If you're tired of trying to fold your socks into sushi rolls, you might be ready for Hygge.

What Is Hygge?

It is the Danish art of coziness: the art of creating warmth, comfort, and well-being through connections, treasuring the moment, and surrounding yourself with things you love.

Since Danes score highest or in the top three on every survey of happiness, I decided to find out more about this unique part of their culture.

Although not the only time of year for hygge, winter is when you can most feel the impact. Candles counteract the darkened and shorter days, people wear clothes for the climate (woolens, flannels and shearling slippers), and adorn their rooms with woven textiles, wood, sheepskin rugs, and a warm fireplace while enjoying pastries or home-cooked meals. It is such a large part of Danish culture that doctors have been known to tell their patients to use "tea and hygge" when they have a cold.

Hygge can be practiced alone, although it is most often used when with those you care about in a relaxed setting.

Why It Started

In the winter, Danes face 17 hours of darkness. Hygge is their solution to getting through the cold and monotony. Hygge is way to focus on what there is to celebrate.  A single candle can add an amazing amount of warmth to an otherwise dark night. A stew or soup that simmers on the stove or crockpot for hours, fills the house with pleasing aromas. Add the company of good friends, and it's hard to be in a bad mood.

Since I live in the cold northeast of the USA in a town that at the best of times is gray and seldom sees the sun, I decided to give it a go. I discovered that simple rituals (brewing real tea with a porcelain cup or buying cut flowers) help morph life from daily drudgery to an art form. Over time, these little behaviors become part of your life rather than something you must consciously do.

Hygge helps Danes savor what they have rather than looking for the next purchase to bring life and meaning into their lives. They have learned to appreciate the simple things that we all too often ignore. Dinner with friends can be hygge or it can be an endurance race – the choice is yours.

I will be the first to admit I am not a domestic diva. I would rather be curled up in my reading chair with a good book than slave in the kitchen. When I invite people to dinner, they know they won't be served a gourmet meal (unless it was catered). They also know it will be a convivial evening, with an abundance of different foods, interesting dining companions, candles, soft music, and lots of laughter.  

It works!

A few years ago I began making a final cup of tea at night using loose tea in a beautiful teapot. Each night, I pour my ginger spice tea into a delicate teacup rather than an earthenware mug, and savor the scent and simple pleasure of one perfect cup of tea. I marvel on how the heat of the tea changes the feel of the porcelain teacup, and then I focus on being present while I sip. This simple act has transformed my ending cup of tea into an extraordinary experience that I look forward to.

After reading about hygge, I began lighting tea candles on a glass plate with multi-colored rocks. They transformed the room from cold and dark to warm and comfortable. It took less than a week for this to become a habit. As the darkened skies descend at 4pm, I light the tea candles. If I forget, I can't settle in my chair. There is something amiss. When I look up, I'm relieved. If I light the candles, the feeling of contentedness returns.

Why Now?

Much like the lifestyle trends that have come before it, hygge touches a nerve in the human psyche. Social media has transformed our lives into a 24/7 race to fill ourselves with knowledge, yet focus more on a screen than people. Hygge gives us a chance to communicate in real-time. Laughing with friends over something silly in the news is a different experience when done face-to-face, rather than putting LOL next to a post.

Hygee also focuses on the appreciation of what we have. Think of the excuses we've used to avoid inviting others over: the floors need to be refinished, the carpets need replacing, once we buy new lounge furniture, etc. Through Hygge we realize that it is often those stolen moments on tattered furniture and mismatched dinnerware that the best conversations emerge.

Do Other Countries Have Anything Similar?

Some cultures have something similar, but not quite the same. In Japan, wabi-sabi finds beauty in imperfection. Friluftsliv in Norway focuses on living in and enjoying nature. The two that I could find that were closest come from Germany and the Netherlands, Gemṻtlichkeit and Gezelligheid respectively.

Why Did this Start in Denmark?

What is it about their culture that makes the Danes, and to some extent the Nordic countries, appreciate the small, hygge things in life? Since the government provides free university education, universal health care, efficient infrastructure, paid family leave, and at least a month of vacation each year, which employees are expected to take, Danes have more time to focus on the smaller issues. It could also be that the cost of the governmental benefits is a high tax structure and less disposable income, so Danes understand that life isn't about having what you want, it's wanting what you've got (words from Soak Up the Sun).

I may not have bought into the cozy slippers just yet, but I am giving serious consideration to a fireplace.

Learn about other cultures and how to work effectively with them.