Repatriation can be just as difficult as adjusting to life on assignment. This is true for both children and adults. Given that children thrive on predictability and consistency, repatriation is another transition that they have to get used to. The information discussed below is intended for children under 12 years-old.
Prepare your child.
Just as you prepared your child before going on assignment, it will be important to prepare your child for repatriation. Open communication about repatriation is important, but it must be handled delicately. If your child will be eager to move back home, make sure that you wait to discuss it until it is definitely happening. It could be difficult for your child if repatriation is presented as an option, but then does not turn into a reality.
If you think your child has mixed feelings or is ambivalent about returning home, consider discussing repatriation when it seems like a realistic option. Hopefully, this will give them time to express their feelings about repatriation and grow accustomed to the idea of another change.
Make space for your child to discuss how he/she feels about the move. For example, simply ask, “How are you feeling about moving?” And normalize their feelings: “It makes sense that you’re sad to leave your new friends,” or “I’m also excited about moving back home.” You can ease the transition by making sure that your child understands how much time is left in your host country before the move. Create a calendar or visual schedule that helps your child understand when the move will take place.
Manage expectations.
Make sure that your child knows what to expect when he/she arrives back in your home country. He/she might expect life to go back to the way it was.
Take the time to discuss what life will be like once you return home; this is particularly important for any differences that your child will experience. For example, talk about where you will live and what school your child will attend. If either of these is different from before going on assignment, it will be important to provide details about what to expect. If your family plans on living in a new home, you can show your child pictures of the home, explain new living arrangements (i.e. sharing a bedroom), and discuss how close the new home is to important people (i.e. grandparents, friends, etc.).
Children thrive when they know what to expect. Helping your child envision life at home before you get there will ease the transition. When children know what’s going to happen next, it calms their anxiety and reduces acting out because there are fewer surprises.
Don’t forget:
- Create a calendar or visual schedule that helps your child understand when the move will take place.
- Discuss details about what life at home will be like
- Say goodbye to friends, teachers, coaches, etc. from your host country
- Life will not be exactly the same as it was
- Make yourself available to help your child become comfortable at home again
Dr. Solomon received her Psy.D. from the PGSP-Stanford Psy.D. Consortium. She received specialized training in child and family clinical psychology.
